If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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