You know, be my cock's hype man.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
