If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
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