he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
