did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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