We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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