I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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