i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
