Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
