He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize
