As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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