at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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