Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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