I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
