last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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