take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
