I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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