hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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