He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
