im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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