U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
