You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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