Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
