dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
