just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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