Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
