Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
