So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He passed out mid-signature
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
