as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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