how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Also, beer. Big fan.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
