And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
