Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Cold hands, warm shart.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
