Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
