): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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