ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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