that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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