Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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