I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
