I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize