So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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