Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
zippers are such a cool invention
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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