She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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