Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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