he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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