Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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