This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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