I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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