I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
