After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize