thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
