I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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