Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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