Girls should come with a carfax report
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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