Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
