All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
