I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
