we're blogging at a bar
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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