I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
