This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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