Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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