butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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