I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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