just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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