One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
