what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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