I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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