we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
