Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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