The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
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I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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