my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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