he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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